I know dat feel, OP.
When i was young, (around 5 or so) i used to steal my mother's underwear/bra's and wear them while i slept, putting them back in the morning. This is the first time i show an interest in being a girl and then i "grow out of it" and forget it ever happened.
So then when i was 10 i found out that MtF/FtM surgery is possible, so i scoured Google one afternoon rediscovering my feelings. But the computer breaks and i forget it ever happened.
For the next 6 years i lived quite contently being a class joker in school getting bad grades, as a result i ended up skipping lessons and hiding around the school, hopping from the changing rooms stealing lunch money and occasionally a set of girl's uniform, recently after i found 4chan and well, /b/.
I find these trap threads, intrigued i took a closer look and (bearing in mind this is the first time i saw a trap) my heart pounded as all i could feel was lust to be the trap in the picture. So after i came from my first trap i felt ashamed of myself, but that doesn't stop me the next time i saw a trap thread. The process continues indefinitely.
So after looking up on various classifieds, stealing clothes from girl mates whenever i get a chance at their houses, fucking myself with my mother's dildos. I grow my urges to be a woman while at the same time bullying myself for thinking like this. I'm not sure if it's what i really want or not. It's so confusing and i can't tell anyone about it apart from you guys. I'm not close with any of my family you see, and i have a single friend who is very close minded about gender/orientation issues.
It's so frustrating being stuck in-between, some days all i can think about is what it'd be like to live life as a woman. And then other days i just block all of those thoughts out and bury myself in work, pitying myself.
There, I'm glad I've told someone at least.
If anyone would like to chat, feel free to give me your Skype or something.
When i was young, (around 5 or so) i used to steal my mother's underwear/bra's and wear them while i slept, putting them back in the morning. This is the first time i show an interest in being a girl and then i "grow out of it" and forget it ever happened.
So then when i was 10 i found out that MtF/FtM surgery is possible, so i scoured Google one afternoon rediscovering my feelings. But the computer breaks and i forget it ever happened.
For the next 6 years i lived quite contently being a class joker in school getting bad grades, as a result i ended up skipping lessons and hiding around the school, hopping from the changing rooms stealing lunch money and occasionally a set of girl's uniform, recently after i found 4chan and well, /b/.
I find these trap threads, intrigued i took a closer look and (bearing in mind this is the first time i saw a trap) my heart pounded as all i could feel was lust to be the trap in the picture. So after i came from my first trap i felt ashamed of myself, but that doesn't stop me the next time i saw a trap thread. The process continues indefinitely.
So after looking up on various classifieds, stealing clothes from girl mates whenever i get a chance at their houses, fucking myself with my mother's dildos. I grow my urges to be a woman while at the same time bullying myself for thinking like this. I'm not sure if it's what i really want or not. It's so confusing and i can't tell anyone about it apart from you guys. I'm not close with any of my family you see, and i have a single friend who is very close minded about gender/orientation issues.
It's so frustrating being stuck in-between, some days all i can think about is what it'd be like to live life as a woman. And then other days i just block all of those thoughts out and bury myself in work, pitying myself.
There, I'm glad I've told someone at least.
If anyone would like to chat, feel free to give me your Skype or something.